Month: July 2023

How to use music to learn a language?

Post author By system
Post date 18/07/2023
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July 2023

Source: Speech Therapist, Miss Carley

In order to help children learn a language, parents use various methods. Have you ever considered singing as one of the methods? Music is an international language and is highly engaging for children. We also have many different ways to use music to assist children in language learning.

One simple method is called “lyric filling.” This method can be used for children who may not yet be able to speak or can only say a few words. Parents can try using this method. Choose a familiar song that the child knows, such as “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.” However, instead of singing the entire song, use a single syllable to sing the entire song, for example, “ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma.” Then suddenly stop and wait for the child to hum or sing the remaining syllable. Parents can encourage the child to vocalize that particular syllable.

The second method is to sing action songs with children, which involve movements. For example, the well-known song “If You’re happy and you know it, clap your hands.” You can sing this song with the child while performing different actions. Through this, children can learn different movements and some nouns and vocabulary.

Interestingly, music can enhance children’s memory. Have you ever noticed that there are many songs we heard when we were young or many years ago, and even if we haven’t sung them in years, we can still remember the lyrics? Therefore, we can simply sing the ABC Song with children to teach them basic English letters. We can also learn numbers with children, for example, “One Little, Two Little, Three Little Indians.”

If we want to teach children the English names of the days of the week, we can sing “Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday” with them. By incorporating vocabulary into music, it makes it easier for children to remember the words.

The fourth method is to try singing out certain phrases, similar to singing. We can also use props to assist, such as simple flashcards. For example, if we want to say, “Chan Siu Ming is eating an apple,” we can sing it out using a musical approach, which enhances the child’s motivation and interest in communication.

How can parents deal with a more self-centered child？

Post author By system
Post date 18/07/2023
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July 2023

Source: Registered Clinical Psychologist, Yiu Fong Lee

Many parents find that their children can be quite self-centered. When playing games or interacting with a group, they always want others to follow their rules. For example, a 5-year-old girl insists on playing with building blocks while her friend wants to play with cars. In such a situation, what should parents do? If the child becomes unhappy and self-centered, she may throw a tantrum and refuse to play with others. People may perceive this child as stubborn or temperamental. Here are a few methods that parents can consider to deal with their self-centered child.

First, it’s important to acknowledge the child’s emotions. Parents can approach the child and say, “Yes, I understand that you are feeling angry and unhappy right now because you really want to play with building blocks, but the other children don’t want to. Does it make you feel upset that you can’t play with the building blocks?” At this moment, parents can try patting or hugging the child, providing a sense of affirmation and closeness, allowing the child’s emotions to gradually calm down. When the child appears calmer, it’s an opportunity to help her move on to the next step.

The second step is called perspective-taking or putting oneself in others’ shoes. Encourage the child to imagine how the other person feels by entering their world or role. Parents can engage in role-playing with the child. For example, if the girl was A and the other child was B, the girl can now pretend to be B, and the parent can pretend to be A. The parent can imitate her tone and say, “I don’t want to play! I don’t like playing with cars! I must play with building blocks!” Then, the parent can ask the child, “How does that make you feel?” The child usually responds with, “He always insists on playing his way, and I don’t want to play with him. I feel unhappy.”

Parents can also ask the child, “If that’s the case, do you still want to play with this child and spend time together in the future?” The girl might respond, “I don’t really want to. If that’s the case, I’ll have to play alone by myself, and it’s boring.” Children usually want someone to play with.

Moving on to the third step, learning problem-solving. Parents can brainstorm ideas with the child, such as trying a game of rock-paper-scissors with the other child. It could be agreed that this time the winner gets to decide, and next time it could be the loser’s turn. Alternatively, we can switch and combine different ideas creatively. For example, in the case of playing with building blocks, can we play with both the building blocks and the cars? We can build a parking lot with the blocks and then let the cars drive on them. This way, we can play together.

We help the child come up with different types of solutions, but the most important thing is for them to understand how their behavior affects and impacts others, and how they can change their behavior so that others would be more willing to play with them. This is known as prosocial behavior.

Parents Zone

How to handle a child’s anxiety about starting primary school?

Post author By system
Post date 18/07/2023
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July 2023

Source: Marriage and Family Therapist, Ng Yee Kam

When a child enters first grade and fails to adapt, some may frequently express their longing for their mothers at school and even experience a loss of appetite. Parents are concerned about their child’s anxiety and may continuously tell them, “As long as you do your best, Mom doesn’t care about grades!” But does this approach effectively address the child’s anxiety, or does it backfire?

First of all, parents need to understand that the transition from kindergarten to first grade is a significant change for a child. It truly takes a long time for the child to adapt. In the first-grade stage, the workload increases, rules become stricter, and teachers are more demanding. Children may experience anxiety, leading to various physical symptoms or fear of going to school.

So, how much time does a child need to adapt? It actually varies from person to person. Generally speaking, more introverted or observant children are prone to anxiety, so it may take them a relatively longer time to adapt. Therefore, parents should first understand their child’s personality and temperament, adjust their expectations during this adaptation period, and never compare their child with other children.

Dr. Daniel Siegel, an American psychiatrist, has proposed a very useful method called “Name it to Tame it.” When parents observe emotional fluctuations in their children, they first use their left brain to analyze what might be happening with their child. Parents should use both their left and right brains, empathizing with the child’s feelings and situation, and then verbalize what they perceive the child is feeling. This is the “Name it” step.

For example, you can say to your child, “Are you feeling scared? Are you feeling worried? It seems like you have no appetite. Is there something you’re anxious about?” When we are able to express the child’s emotions, we are actually delineating what the child is experiencing in their right brain very clearly.

For older children, parents can encourage them to express their emotions themselves, and parents can respond to them. This connection between the adult’s and the child’s right brain helps stabilize anxious emotions. We refer to this process as “Connect.” After the connection is established, we can engage in conversation about other topics with the child.

However, parents should remember that when a child expresses their emotions, we must avoid saying things like, “Don’t worry, it’s silly, don’t think about these things,” or “You’re fine as you are, just do your best.” If we respond with our left brain, we cannot alleviate the right brain’s anxiety or bring calmness to the child’s midbrain responsible for emotions.

Lastly, when parents are able to use emotional vocabulary and verbalize what is happening in the child’s mind, it means transforming some of the emotions in the right brain into left brain cognition. This process is called “Redirect.” When we cognitively understand what we are experiencing and feeling, our right brain will find ways to solve the problem, which is referred to as “Problem Solving.”

The sequence mentioned above is crucial when dealing with a child’s anxiety and nervousness. Besides the order, parents also need to have patience. We need to be patient in helping the child understand their emotions so that we can come up with strategies together.

Keeping work inside the office

Post author By system
Post date 18/07/2023
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July 2023

Written by: Dr. Tik Chi-yuen, Director of Hong Kong Institute of Family Education

Hong Kong is a highly competitive society that emphasizes efficiency, high added value, and high productivity. Therefore, Hong Kong people are known as “workaholics” or are forced to accept long working hours. In theory, our work hours have regulations, such as working from nine to five or nine to six. Of course, there are professions with longer working hours, but there should always be an end to the workday. However, in recent years, many individuals continue to be busy with work even after leaving the office. Additionally, with the advanced electronic platforms and the internet today, it has become more convenient for people to work and communicate on these platforms even after work. As a result, without realizing it, we no longer have a stable off-duty time. When we return home, we still open our computers to continue checking and replying to emails, reading reports, and writing proposals, and so on.

Long working hours not only have an impact on our physical and mental health but also cause constant concern about work progress, leading to psychological stress. This stress seriously affects the emotions of family members, which is why Hong Kong people generally experience emotional stress. Bringing work home means not only bringing some tasks or assignments but also bringing work-related stress. These pressures unconsciously affect our own emotions and, consequently, the emotions of our family members. Naturally, children hope that their parents can spend time playing with them, but when parents are busy with work at home, they may find their children bothersome and transfer their emotions onto them.

Family is a place that promotes mutual support among family members, and we should have more profound emotional interactions, sharing care and love with each other. However, when we bring work home, everyone can feel your stress and emotions, and gradually, children may find it difficult to communicate with you, resulting in a serious impact on the parent-child relationship, which is not worthwhile.

When we come back home, it’s not about continuing to deal with work matters, but rather about building intimate relationships with family members. So, when you come home, engage in more intimate behaviors with your family, such as hugging, playing games, and telling stories. At the same time, express love and share thoughts. At home, it’s about talking about love and affection, rather than being busy replying to work emails. This not only helps to relax everyone’s mind and body but also allows us to enjoy the joy of family.

Work when you’re working, play when you’re playing. This is the simplest principle, so please everyone, keep work in the office and bring a joyful mood back home.